Hello everyone, no, I'm not dead(yet), I'm still depressed and getting suicide thoughts but this shined a ray of hope, an old link stored in my favorites that I absolutely had to have:

[link]

A camera design specifically for bird watching! It has amazing features too such as impact-resistance and even weatherproof. Finally, just when this year was looking bad in terms of weather I can take photos of all the finches on my feeder!

I must have this camera, I have a long ways to go to have the necessary funds for this kit, the motherload:

[link]

With that kit I'll also be able to submit my take of bird photos. Don't expect quality work like from Sooper-Deviant or any photographer.

I just gotta hang in there if I'm gonna get this camera, just gotta...